Scared To Get Hurt Again?

89 Reasons Why I'm Single Reason #4

I talked about this in 89 Reasons Why I'm Single Reason #2....but I actually have found more compassion for the kind of people this blog is about.

4. Fear of being hurt again.

I'm still learning about love.

I'm learning not to abuse it.

I'm learning love is gentle. So I must be gentle, with myself and with others.

I now have so much love inside of me that I feel like it's sitting in the center of my chest, tapping it's foot on my heart impatiently waiting for permission to be released.

I feel like the universe put certain guys in my life because they needed to meet me for their own healing. I also feel like I'd be taking too much credit.

Instead I need/needed the healing. Even situations that I thought were a waste of time, taught me something.

Lately, within the last two years the running theme for guys has been "my ex hurt me, so I'm doing me now".

I literally keep meeting guys RIGHT after they get out of a relationship or shortly after they've been hurt.

I'm the perfect girl for an emotionally wounded man with a bruised heart.

It's been such a popular story that I started to think it was a scam. I don't wanna discredit a black mans pain though so I try to truly find compassion for them.

But that's how I end up in these situationships!

I respect the man who doesn't get stuck in that story. Although he may really be hurting, I really admire men who still decide to love again. It takes courage, believe me I know.

But when it comes to those who are ADAMANT about never committing to a women again. I wouldn't be so hard on them if THEY DIDN'T PICK ME TO NOT COMMIT TO!

I recall myself asking "why talk to me out of ALL THE GIRLS IN THE WORLD WHO ARE JUST AS ANTI COMMITMENT AS YOU ARE?!" Several times to those kind of guys.

In 89 reasons why I'm single reason number 2, I talked about how I realized I attracted people with commitment issues because I was admitting a fear of commitment!

Now, that I've healed some wounds and made some self-discoveries, what's a girl to do?

I know everyone in my generation isn't anti commitment and anti love. I know that there are people who are on a similar journey, craving similar things...

So the question for the day is, if you were me, what would you do? Would you:

1. Enjoy being single and just go with the flow?

2. Actively search for a companion? (black people meet, liking TBH statuses at 12:00 am, eharmony etc)

3. Give into being friends with benefits?

4. Date around until you meet “the one” ?

Comment your thoughts, feelings and reflections in the box below.

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo Love Atiya